Happy Halloween from the waiting room

Today I woke up with a diamond shaped rash on the back of my head.  I called the oncology department here in Storm Lake and a nurse from the Sioux City oncology department called me back.  She seemed to insist that if my rash was itchy that it was most likely shingles...WHAT!?  Maybe it is a rash from the stitching in my wig?  No, the nurse insisted that I should go to see my family doctor because I CAN NOT see an oncology doctor and possibly expose all the other cancer patients to shingles.  You bet, I will go sit in the waiting room of the doctor's office with all the hacking sniffling people and expose myself to that mess.

I indeed went to the doctor, even the receptionist at the front reception was sick.  Right away the nurse could tell it wasn't shingles.  She said that a shingles rash doesn't cross the body.  HMMM nurse in Sioux City, I don't think you asked me enough questions.  On the bright side, I now have a steroid cream for my rash caused by the stitching in the back of my wig.  I hope that I don't get sick from sitting in the germ free waiting room.  I also need to figure out what to do about the back of my wig.

Is that Will or Green Lantern?

Will dressed up as Green Lantern last night to go Trick-or-Treating at BVU.  He looked amazing and had a blast!  Ted and I stayed home and read books.  Ted also figured out how to climb up on the coffee table/footstool/storage area.  He was extremely proud of himself.  Ted is the boy of adventure, so watch out!  Good thing his brother has a ring that will keep him safe from danger!

I feel safer knowing Will is protecting me!

Made it through the weekend

I made it through chemo #2!  Saturday was better than last time, but still not fun.  The help and support from our friends and family makes a HUGE difference!  Today I am tired and just need to rest.

My amazingly talented husband carved pumpkins and helped make a Halloween costume for Will.  Ted loved squishing the pumpkin goop in his fingers.  Will was excited to finally carve the hugest pumpkin. Tonight is trick-or-treating at Buena Vista University.  Don't worry, Ted has a costume too.  We saved Will's cute little lion costume.  

Pictures please? You got 'em

Tonight I shaved the rest of my hair off.  It looks so much better!  It feels better too!  The lady in Spencer told me I needed  a special shampoo system and it makes a huge difference.  My head no longer hurts like my hair has been pulled back in a too tight braid.

My new urban look

My new wig

Chemo today

Today it was SNOWING when it was time to leave, so I left my wig at home. Today I met with Dr. Wender(sp?).   People had said he could be a little different. He was fine and answered some questions with more information/different opinion than Dr. Doddebellie(sp?). My blood pressure was a little high when I got here, but it quickly went down. Dr. Wender made me feel much better! I was glad to have a 2nd opinion!

My blood levels were so good the past few weeks that I dont have to come back until my next chemo. Of course if I need anything I can call, come in, and they will help me.
Ryan popped in and out today. He needed to tie up some ends at work.

The nurses here are amazing! We are so lucky to have this facility in our hospital!

Rules for wig care

Yesterday I delivered soup/dessert to the school for Parent Teacher conferences.   I made turkey chili and Taco Joe Dip and Gooey Butter Cake.  It was nice to try a dessert from Pinterest, but it was also nice to have a place to take it.  It was easy to make and perfect to share.  My allergies were out of control yesterday, so I ended up sleeping all day.  It doesn't seem fair to have allergies, too.

I felt much better today.  What a relief because today was my wig appointment.  I don't have a picture though.  I wore my wig home and it got wet from the mist.  The wig is drying on its stand.  There is one big rule that I must remember - DO NOT COOK IN THE WIG.  IT WILL MELT!  Also, don't brush the wig with a regular brush or comb.  Don't wear the wig if it is wet.  Don't sleep in the wig.  I'll post a picture on a better day.

I started grating Fels Naptha soap so I can make my own laundry soap.  I will try anything that might possible be less expensive and might clean better than pre-made soap. I misread the directions, so I need three more bars of Fels Naptha.  I grated two tonight and it smelled really clean!  I expected it would be more difficult to grate the soap bars.  I just wouldn't want to grate five in one night.

My second chemo treatment will be tomorrow.  I hope that everything goes smoothly!

The temptations of Pinterest

This week is conference week for my coworkers at school.  I don't have much to do these days, so I've been looking on Pinterest for delicious desserts that I would like to try.  I found one called Chess Squares or Gooey Butter Cake.  http://www.kevinandamanda.com/recipes/dessert/chess-squares.html

It was so simple to make.  It tastes extremely rich and surely blows all your weight watchers points out of the water.  I'm sure if you eat one small piece once a year you will be fine.  I'm glad that I have somewhere to take this dessert, because one piece is enough.  To me it tastes so buttery that it reminds me of movie theater popcorn.

  

I can tell that I don't have much to do these days because the anticipation of taking my coworkers food rivals the excitement of Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Yes, I really don't get out much these days and if I'm feeling good I just want to do something "normal".

After I picked Will up from school today I took him to the public library to find a Charlie Brown movie.  We found a VHS tape and it was a mystery.  "The Great Pumpkin" was checked out today.  We can go back and look for that movie another day.  I'm sure it is a popular movie right now.  We also picked out three Arthur books.  Those are his favorite books.  I'm sure it helps that those books have a huge display that spins right as you enter the children's section.

Tonight the lady at the salon in Spencer called to tell me my wig came in.  I can go on Wednesday to pick-up the wig.  I am very excited to be getting my wig. I don't like to have people look at me with sad eyes full of pity.  I appreciate all of the kind words, food, and help, but that is different.  Yay for blending in with the crowd.   

You take the good, you take the bad

Saturday morning we got up bright and early to go to the zoo.  My blood counts were good and we were looking forward to a well deserved diversion.  I packed us all lunches and we were off!  Poor Ted... he got violently car sick.  We had to turn around and come back home.  (We were about 1 1/2 hrs. from home.)  He was so sick that I was worried he had the stomach flu.  Ted perked up quite a bit once we got home and he had eaten crackers and pedialyte.  It was a very sad day at the Harder house.  No one wants to drive for three hours only to be exactly where you started.

Today was a much better day.  We were able to make it to Sioux City without incident.  My hair fell out practically overnight, so I had to wear a hat.  Unfortunately, the hat I had was too warm for a day like today.  When we got home I found a colorful cotton scarf that had pink fringe hanging off it.  Then I found an old baseball type hat that I "drew"  from a Christmas exchange when I taught at Meservey-Thornton/Sheffield-Chapin.  It is a white hat with Sony printing in blue on the front.  The person I drew it from got the hat at a different exchange.  Who knew it would have a real use one day.

When Will discovered my hair was coming out he was extremely upset.  Now he wants to wear a hat, just like Mom.  Ted doesn't care what I have on my head as long as I have a smile on my face and love in my heart!  What a remarkable pair of boys!  It truly is the little things that get us through each day!

Do you like my wig?

Ryan took me to Spencer this morning for a wig fitting.  I was lucky enough yesterday to nab the last appointment the lady had for today.  When I went for my nurse check yesterday the nurse advised me to pick out a wig while I still had hair on my head!  She said, "Do it fast!"  Good thing I went today because there was a HUGE amount of hair in the drain this morning.  The average person on the street wouldn't be able to tell yet, but I can tell my hair is thinning FAST!

When I was in college, Rogaine had just come out on the market.  As a joke my roommate, Carolyn, had the company send me the information packet.  I'm fairly certain that they didn't send product, but I remember wondering how I got on that mailing list.  Well today the lady at the salon said that if I used a special shampoo, not Rogaine, my head would stop itching during this hair loss stage.  I'll sure give it a try because I am tired of waking up with my head feeling like my hair has been pulled back in a too tight braid all night.

The first wig I tried on was just for size.  When she put it on my head it looked like the worst head of hair I had ever seen!  After she figured out my size, average, she brought out an assortment of catalogs.  The wigs in the front of the first catalog cost over $1,000!  I about dropped the catalog on the floor and ran out of the store.  I'm not so vain that I need a wig that costs the same as purchasing 10 pairs of Dansko shoes!  The lady assured me that the wigs were much more reasonable toward the back of the catalog.  Right away I found a wig I liked and she had a sample that I could try on.  It was not the right color, but it was a great style.  We then plowed through the color samples to find one that matched my hair.  We found one right away, but of course the wig I liked didn't come in that color.  The wig came in lots of crazy colors... who needs a wig in one of those crazy colors?  A drag queen, no doubt.  We finally settled on a color that looked like a normal lady in her thirties, with two children, would wear.

Ryan and I finished our trip to Spencer by a quick stop at Menards to buy a drain unclogging device.  The sink in the half bath off the family room has been quite slow lately.  I know that a huge amount of sand has been washed off in that sink, so I hope that this special drain snake will work.  When you have two kids you never know what has gone down the sink.

Checking in at the doctor

This is the third time they have accessed my port and each time they have had a different person access it.  The first time one of the regular oncology nurses did it and I didn't feel a thing.  Last week a surgery nurse accessed it for practice and had someone talking her through it.  Today a home health care nurse was doing it with another nurse talking her through it.  I hope it isn't someone practicing every single time I go in.  I get worked up enough in anticipation.  I don't need another reason to almost pass out!

My nurse evaluation was FAST today.  The doctors were in Sioux City and my blood levels were GREAT! Following my super efficient nurse evaluation, I showed the social worker some hats that I would like for her to order.  She then had me help pick out some other winter type hats.

Tomorrow Ryan will run me to Spencer to pick out a wig.  I woke up this morning and the back of my head was hurting where my hair had been smashed against the pillow.  My knowledgeable, retired, oncology nurse mother told me that is what it feels like before you hair falls out.  Sure enough I had a huge wad of hair collecting in the drain this morning.  Good thing the people in our family have thick thick hair, so you can't tell yet that I have been collecting wads of my own hair out of the drain!  Don't feel sorry for me, though.  I knew this would happen.

On a happy note, today marks the 10 year anniversary of Ryan proposing to me.  Wow!  I can't believe it has been 10 years!  For better or worse I couldn't ask for a better person to be by my side through it all!

The mystery truck

So my "big project" for the day was laundry, and being neighborhood  watch.  Something mysterious was happening at the house across the street.  A Lundell construction truck backed up to the house and dragged a hose into the house.  The hose was connected to a tank on the back of the truck.  Later they dragged a red hose out into the yard.  Strange, very strange.

Anyway, I ordered one of those bomber hats for winter and it came today!  It is black with fancy birds.  It was at close out price from the Sierra Trading Post.  I figured if there was any winter when I could wear a hat like that it was this winter...and there was quite a bit of hair in the drain this morning.  I have thick hair, so you can't tell yet.  I'm fine with losing my hair because I know my leg hair will also fall out!

As for my crochet project, it is coming along.  I am trying very hard to follow the directions and pictures in the book, but I am just not sure it is exactly right.

Adventures at Walmart

Today I went to Walmart.  I found fabric for a Christmas Tree skirt! It was difficult to find someone to cut the fabric. Two older ladies decided that I should just pick up the phone and call for help.  I really didn't want to try paging someone from the "house phone".   Finally someone walked by and I asked them if they could find someone to cut the fabric.  They told me the bell keeps getting stolen from the fabric department!

 I also found some yarn to start a crochet project.  This will force me to sit quietly for a time and hopefully will be something that I can work on while I wait for my nurse evaluation each Thursday.  (I pray I don't have to wait an 1 1/2 hrs to see the nurse this week!)  While I was at Walmart a girl was staring at me.  She was obviously school aged, but I didn't recognize her.  I don't know if she recognized me or was just interested in my purchasing habits.  Either way, I wanted to play truancy officer and ask her why she wasn't in school!  Maybe that should be my new part time job, patrolling Walmart for truant children.  Maybe not.

We had acorn squash for supper.  I cut it in half, put oil on a cookie sheet, and placed cut sides down.  I wasn't going to let anything explode tonight.  Will acted like I was feeding him poison, even though he has eaten squash in the past.  Ted loved it!  I didn't love cleaning up the floor under his high chair, but oh well...

At bath time Will told me about a boy at school.  Will is worried about this boy.  I told him that he should be nice to this boy and we will say an extra prayer for him.  It is truly the little things that people do that make life better.

Feeling the need to purge (old medications)

Today I thought I would go to Walmart, but no I started cleaning the kitchen...
I started in the cabinet where we keep the medication.  I still had prescriptions from 2005!  I threw out sippy cups that were missing pieces and a whole container full of plastic lids that hadn't been touched in two years.  I was feeling fearless today.  I filled the entire kitchen trash.  More blue glass was hiding in the drawer under the oven and under the fridge.  Sometime I will need to organize the pantry closet, but not today.  Probably not tomorrow, either.

Since I didn't go to Walmart today I ended up going to Walgreens.  I admit that I have the Walgreens app and have the little loyalty rewards card that they scan from the phone.  What I don't understand is how I could purchase deodorant, baby food, and assorted make-up and not earn a single loyalty point?  What do you have to purchase before you earn points, a block of gold?

Ryan and I watched Dark Shadows tonight.  The movie started out fine, but the ending was a hot mess.  I'm glad we only rented it from Redbox and didn't actually pay to see it in the theater!

Sunny Sunday

When I woke up this morning I felt that I needed to be at church today.  As we were getting ready to walk out the door my mother called from Canada.  She had been on vacation with some friends.  They were touring the eastern US and Canada via a cruise.  I think they all had a good time and they should arrive home later today.

The anthem today was very special to me.  It was a song that I had performed at Ghost Ranch (a Presbyterian camp in NM). A group of us went while I was in high school.   I am so glad that we went to church today.  It was nice to do something "normal".  I didn't shake anyone's hand and all the coughing people made me paranoid.  I had hand sanitizer for Ryan after he passed the peace.

So I'm finding it difficult to pin point the style of Christmas Tree skirt that I would want to make.  There is quite a difference in style, so I need to think about this.  It isn't as simple as one would first think.  I am wishing that I had taken the jewelry making class in high school. I have some free time right now and for the first time ever especially interested in earnings. So shame on me for not taking advantage of that class in high school.  It is difficult to fit in electives though unless you are on the five year graduation plan.

Saturday with a Bang!

Ryan had to work the BVU football game today, so I thought that I would make acorn squash for lunch (not Ryan's favorite).  The pan exploded with a BANG!  I had just gotten done sweeping up baking soda off the floor. Ted grabbed the box of the counter, sprinkled it on the floor and then swished his body in it!  What a mess in the kitchen today!

  

We all had sandwiches for lunch and then Will went to the BVU football game with Jeremy and Jodi Ward.  He had a good time and the Beavers even won homecoming against Central! Ryan said this is only the 2nd time we have defeated them at home since 1959!  Second win total since 1979!

Ted's Wii phone

Ted and I hung out at home.  Ted took and extremely short nap and then tore around the house like a tornado.  He managed to dump a puzzle all over the floor and  knock the DVD and Wii off the console in the living room!  What a mess!  He was extremely shy when Jeremy and Jodi brought Will home.  Ted cried when Jeremy tried to hold him.  I can't remember the last time Ted acted that shy.  He clung to me like a traumatized monkey.

Ryan came home and we ate supper at the Villager.  It was so NICE to get out of the house and just sit in the booth!  Ted was super friendly with an elderly couple at the Villager.  That was surprising after he acted like such a turkey for Jeremy and Jodi!

When we got home, Ryan and I completed a marriage strengthening task of cleaning the shards of broken blue glass out of the bottom of the oven.  The glass looks really pretty, too bad it was all over the bottom of the oven.

Let my inner homemaker shine through

Well, today is the day to organize Ted's clothes.  It was quite the undertaking since I saved ALL of Will's clothes.  My mother urged me to give his clothes away, but I'm glad that I kept them.  Organizing, sorting and purging was desperately needed.  When I found out about the cancer I quickly sold all of the clothes that no longer fit Ted, at that time.  I just didn't want the extra clutter.  We needed to take out all of the summer clothes and weed again.  At least now we can find what we are looking for in Ted's room.

The next three projects that I would like to tackle:  make laundry soap, find a delicious milk free & wheat free cookie recipe for my boys, and make a Christmas Tree skirt.

Big wait at the doctor today

Today was a long day of waiting at the doctor.  The waiting for my port access wasn't too bad, but waiting for the nurse evaluation took an hour! I had gotten myself all worked up knowing that they would access the port.  Then they had someone getting extra practice in the port access room.  By the time they were done I was about to faint and they were fanning me.  I'll be O.K. I just need to calm myself...

I had been at the doctor for 1 1/2 today and only saw the nurse.  She was very nice and I know it wasn't her fault.  She told me that every day will be different and that I shouldn't feel guilty if I don't get all of my housework done each week.  The important thing is to rest as needed and take care of myself!

I had been at the doctor's office so long that Ryan came and joined me and then took me to lunch.  After I got home I had to call Sunshine Services since our trash had been skipped.  The man came right away.  This is the second time in about a month that they have skipped our house.  The Fed Ex man came and delivered a large box of diapers for Ted.  I like this service.  The shipping was free from Walmart!  I don't know why I didn't do this sooner!  Then I rested until I went to pick-up Will from school.

I think that my morning and Wednesday tired me out!  Thank you everyone for the positive feedback about my hair!  I'm glad everyone likes it.  Soon it will all fall out, so I will enjoy it while I can.  Then I will wear hats.  I should probably go get a wig!  My hair will grow back...The important thing is to just get through this day by day!

Practical VS Vanity

I went to Walmart this morning during a non-busy time to avoid germs and sick people.  I wiped the cart (as always).  I bought myself a pair of slippers to help keep my feet warm at home.  I suppose I could wear them to go pick Will up from school....NO!  If you are laughing you get my joke.

I have chicken chili in the crock-pot and I washed all my make-up brushes today.  I guess I should wash them after each use now, so as to avoid germs.  I hope the bristles don't start falling out!  I love my new hair for the quick dry and style.  On the other hand, I should no longer push it back when I put on my make-up.  By the time I took off my headband today the hair was all strangely kinked.  It is too short to fix it with my straightener...UH OH.  Lesson learned.  I guess I prefer a longer style ( I think this makes me look old, but the quick style makes a huge argument for shorter length.)  Practicality VS. Vanity

I suppose we all have a picture in our mind of how we should look.

Journey to Sioux City

I had an appointment in Sioux City today.  It was a follow-up appointment for the port placement.  It took all of 10 minutes.  The doctor has a good sense of humor.  I like it when a doctor is personable and doesn't take him/herself too seriously!  He even has a huge fish tank in the waiting room.  He said that I can swim in the river if I want, but I don't think I will...Brrr!

To back the day up a bit...this morning I drove myself to a hair cut!  When Ryan came home from work to drive me to Sioux City he was extremely surprised.  It was nice to surprise him!  Prior to our appointment we enjoyed a child free meal at Olive Garden!  I am exhausted now, but it was a good day.  I should sleep like a log tonight and I think that chicken from The Villager is in order.

They don't call it awesometherapy

It's been a rough day for Kara-- the chemo has hit her pretty hard.  She's really nauseous and her head hurts.  It started early in the evening last night, and hasn't let up.  She's feeling dizzy and lightheaded too.  The paperwork says to call the doctor when that happens, so we checked in with the oncology doctor on call.  The doctor recommended laying off one of the medications and trying some Pepcid for the stomach.  She also said that Kara should start to feel better soon, but that hasn't happened yet.

The pharmacist at Walgreens recognizes me by sight now.  Sometimes you gotta go where everybody knows your name. 

Tom and Sharon Daniels watched Will and Ted while I worked at the football game today, which was a huge help.  They all had a great time-- I will take undeserved credit for my childrens' good behavior.

Everyone's support during this time had been incredible, and we can truly feel the impact of your positive thoughts and prayers.  If you're so inclined tonight, please throw in an extra prayer or two for Kara.  She could really use it.

Chemo

I started chemo today. Everyone here is fabulous! They have pampered me to the nines! Ryan left to go get something done at work and I was just fine. We are so lucky to have oncology here in Storm Lake!

The patient advocate came in and let me try on hats. I chose three hats. The scarves just looked ridiculous on me.

BVU homecoming is Oct. 13. We are looking for someone to help watch Will and Ted that day. Ryan will be working the football game.

Chemo starts tomorrow

 
This October will mark 10 years since Ryan proposed to me.  Ryan and I met in college, but didn't ever date.  We met again at a party given by mutual college friends.  We will celebrate our 10 year anniversary in June.  Each day is a new adventure. In good times and in hard times, I am grateful to have my best friend by my side.

Tomorrow I will have my first chemo treatment.  I will have 6 treatments, three weeks part.  I know that this too shall pass.  Ryan and I are extremely grateful for the continued help and support from our friends, family and coworkers.

Who likes port ports?

I am sitting with Kara after her surgery. It went very well.  Dr. Lebredo and everyone at St. Luke's has been really great. The port went in without incident and it's ready to go.

Kara is doing well. You never know how someone is going to be when you first see him or her post-surgery. I opened the door and Kara had a nice smile. Awesome!  She doesn't feel dizzy or too nauseous, which is nice.

She'll rest here for another 45 minutes or so, then we'll head home. I assure you that we won't be stopping at the mall to pick up a nice pair of slacks.  I'll be glad when we're home, but so far so good.

Surgery tomorrow

Today I spent the day taking phone calls from St. Luke's so that I could preregister for tomorrow's port placement.  I ended up answering some political calls since I can no longer tell if they are medical or junk...

I drove for the first time today!  I don't plan to drive down the interstate any time soon, but it was nice to check another box off the list of "Things We All Take For Granted".

Will and Ted will be staying with friends tonight so that Ryan and I can leave at 6:00 A.M. for Sioux City.

Lovely fall weekend

Thursday night I was able to give Ted a bath.  He crawled up the stairs, walked to the tub, I gently lifted him in, he stood up when he was finished, and he then walked to his bedroom.  It was the most adorable thing I have ever seen.  I was then able to help him put his pajamas on.

On Saturday Ryan and Will went for haircuts.  Ted and I stayed home and played blocks.  He stacks blocks like a pro, but we laughed and laughed when they all fell down. While we were playing he would scoot over into my lap.  It was a wonderful way to spend a morning.  

Saturday afternoon we went to a pumpkin patch near Fort Dodge.  We rode down to the patch on a wagon pulled by an old truck.  Will got to ride up front with the driver.  It was the perfect day!  We found three pumpkins.  

Can you see Will and Ryan searching for the perfect pumpkin?

Will helping to drive the truck