Doctor in Sioux City

Ryan and I drove to Sioux City early this morning to meet with a surgeon. On Tuesday I will have a port placed.  It will be at St. Luke's, where Ted was born.  The doctor and his nurse were extremely kind and very comforting.  The doctor looked a little wide eyed when I told him that my other option was to have the temporary surgeon in Storm Lake do the procedure.  I am confident that I made the right choice.
 

OVERWHELMED

Sorry to my loyal followers that I haven't posted in a few days.  Ryan and I have been OVERWHELMED by the sheer amount of information that we have had to mentally process.  Last Thursday we were at the doctor from 2:45 - 6:30 p.m. and then we went back Monday morning for more information!

On Friday I will go to Sioux City to have a surgical consult to have a port put in place for chemo.  I am electing to do this in Sioux City since Dr. Dierking had an accident and is out of commission for a while.  (Heal fast Dr. Dierking!)  I really didn't want to have a "temp" doctor do this important procedure for me.  My mother, a retired oncology nurse, said there are ports and then there are good ports.  Guess what, I want the good port!  I'm not going to settle for 2nd best here!

I will start chemo on October 4th, here in Storm Lake.  

Last night I went to Look Good, Feel Better at the BVRMC (our amazing local hospital and education center).  They gave us free make-up and gave us tricks and tips for our sensitive skin and changing make-up needs.  Then last night, I started looking at hats online.  I've always liked hats, no surprise to my family.  I now have a super important reason (besides sun protection) to invest in a few cute ones.  I'm going to find the silver lining in this anyway that I can!

I'm getting slowly better everyday. I started noticing that my muscles were feeling tight.  I realized why...I'm regaining sensation in my arm!  This is a slow process, but yahoo!

In an effort to give myself a purpose each day, I've been working on personalized baby gifts for my relatives that are expecting.  I don't want to elaborate too much since I don't want to ruin the surprise.  (If you know someone who is expecting a baby soon and you want a personalized gift I would be glad to make you one.  Send me an e-mail and I can show you what I've been crafting in my workshop. I'm not Santa though, I only make one per day.)

Thank you to all of my friends, coworkers, and family for all of their continued support. It helps to know that many, many, many people want me to get better!  

Checking in at the Doctor

O.K.  Good news first... they finally took my drain out today!  I instantly have less pain.  No wonder I was in so much pain.  They pulled a huge inflexible rectangular thing out of the side of my body.  It was at least 5 inches long!

Other news... since I am so young, I will need to have chemo AND radiation.  Ugh!  I've been told that chemo is not like it used to be, so I shouldn't get myself all worked up at this point.

Since I had it pictured in my mind that I would only need to have radiation and no chemo, I was extremely frustrated and disappointed after my appointment today.  Instead of sitting at home and crying, I decided to walk to school.  It really helped to walk to school and talk to my friends and coworkers (basically the same thing).  What an amazing support system!  I feel so much better!  I now know exactly what exercises I should be doing to help my arm. (YAY! Thank you Patti!)

I will see the oncologist on Thursday (late in the day).  I know I can do this!  I know everyone is rooting for me.  Sometimes it just helps to see and talk to the people you would normally see every day.  If you work for Storm Lake Elementary you have to be a high energy, optimistic person.  Today I needed an infusion of high energy optimism and I sure got it!  Thank you SLES!

The missing puzzle piece

It was the perfect temperature yesterday afternoon for a walk.  I made it to school and was able to pick up Will.  Luckily one of the other teachers gave us a ride home.  I probably could have made it, but I'm glad I didn't have to try.  (After supper Will wanted to go for a walk...Hmmm, no...)

You know what I noticed the most?  The building looked sparkly clean and the teachers all looked so nice. Everyone's hair looked so styled.  (That probably sounds silly.)  I know it has only been 3 weeks, but I feel like I've been gone so much longer!  Walking into the building, I felt like a puzzle piece that almost fit, but not quite.  Maybe if someone pounded a little on the piece it would fit.  (I guess that means I'm not quite ready to be back.)

I will go back to the doctor today, but it is an afternoon appointment. It is hard to be patient for morning appointments. I think it will seem like an eternity to wait for the appointment this afternoon!

Big Weekend

We had a big weekend.  (O.K. it was a big weekend for me, but in reality very tame!)  My mom and a long time family friend and granddaughter came to visit.  They drove up from Ames on Saturday.  They brought smoked pork from Hickory Park and stayed at King's Pointe.  Will and Jennifer played so nicely together!  They were able to make sand castles at the beach, play at the park, and swim like little fish at the pool.  The grandmothers supervised while Ryan and I rested at home with Ted.

This summer my mom, Will, Pat, and Jennifer went to Grands camp at the Presbyterian Camp up at Okoboji. Will and Jennifer had a blast at camp.  When you watch them play it is obvious that each child puts the need of the other person ahead of their own.  What a rare and refreshing quality.

Will has started sleeping on the floor in the family room, so that he can be closer to me. I don't think he likes me sleeping downstairs "all by myself".   I'm glad this brings him comfort.

I can tell that I am getting stronger, but I don't have much stamina yet.  Small activity really makes me tired, but to look toward the positive - I can tolerate a short car ride now!

new carpet cleaner

Last night Will had trouble settling down and falling asleep.  I finally told him to just lie down on the blanket on the floor beside the sofa.  He fell asleep almost instantly and stayed asleep until 6 ish.

Ted ripped off his diaper this morning and made a HUGE mess.  I had either read on pinterest or in a magazine that you can clean your carpet with rubbing alcohol.  Today seemed like a good day to see if it would work.  It really did!  Sometimes carpet cleaner leaves a residue behind, but the alcohol evaporated and you can't tell that Ted's diaper exploded all over the living room!

Truancy, fire control, and first aid

Yesterday Will came home and told me that I had missed waaaay too many days of school!  I know that we are stressing attendance at Storm Lake Elementary. (You aren't learning if you aren't at school!) Will was crushed when he missed ONE day of school last year and didn't get the perfect attendance award on the last day of school.  Each day I'm not at school must be eating Will up inside.  Hopefully I won't have to worry about Will going truant later in his school career.  I have my own personal truancy officer!

I am prefacing this story:  Ryan is doing an AMAZING job taking care of our family and people have been extremely generous by bringing us meals and sending us gift cards.  Sometimes life just happens.

We had another delicious supper brought to us last night.  Ryan turns on the oven and puts the bread inside to heat.  When the bread was finished he gabbed a not thick enough pot holder to remove the bread.  (We have all had the horrifying experience when we realize that that one pot holder is not enough!) Ryan drops the pan,  the bread slides into the heating element of the stove and lights on fire.

I'm sitting at the table in the dining room and can't see into the kitchen.  All I hear is "Oh NO!  Oh NO!"  I had heard the pan crash and in my mind I vision the kitchen floor melting and scorching.

I hurry to the kitchen as Ryan is wetting paper towels.  I tell him to shut off the oven as I open the drawer to find the tongs.  Ryan grabs two forks, stabs the flaming bread, and throws it in the sink.

To make everything better Will starts crying and telling us he really wants some bread!  I grab him a dinner roll.  Will tells me that he wants it toasted.  I tell him that the oven is finished for the night and you can't stuff dinner rolls in the toaster.  He then tells me he needs butter...He was finally satisfied with butter.

After both boys get a bath we drive to Walgreens to purchase first aid supplies.  (Sometimes Perry the Platypus band aids just don't cut it.)  We decided that a soothing drive past the lake will calm our nerves.  A little red car comes up behind our family van.  We must not have been going fast enough, so that car was going to teach us a lesson by tailgating!  Ted knows how to solve this problem...Poor little guy gets car sick.

When we got home, Ted enjoyed another bath, the van got cleaned, and I was awake until midnight from all the excitement.  

Once I finally fell asleep I dreamed that I was a the pool with the boys.  I guess the pool = carefree fun to me.  I can't wait until I am "all better" and I can once again go swimming!

Antibiotic planetary

Every day is a little better, but my sinuses are holding me back.  The doctor prescribed another antibiotic today.  While I was waiting for the doctor to call, a political interest group managed to slip in a call.  Ugh, so now I think I've had my fill of phone calls for the day.  I wish I could go take a hot bath...Hopefully this new antibiotic will help my sinus pain.

Microwave popcorn world

I know that I need to focus on healing right now.  Being a midwestern girl, it was instilled in me that you should always work hard and complete the task at hand with an eye for detail.  My mother, grandmother, and aunt taught me how to sew at an early age.  I was a willing participant, but it was also a lesson in patience and persistence.  We started with shorts.  It seemed like a very simple pattern, but unfortunately it was so simple that we kept confusing the front and the back of the cut pieces.  I remember Alys and I were quite young when we worked on this project.  Grandma and Aunt Sara debated and debated. What had they just sewn together?  The shorts got finished and I'm sure looked perfect.

Another summer Grandma helped me make a denim type jumper.  I remember Grandma took me to a dry goods store in down town Charles City to find a zipper.  We scoured the store looking for the right length and color zipper.  Without my grandmother's knowledge I used a contrasting color of thread (black rather than a matching blue) to sew the edging details in the jumper.  Grandma wasn't very happy with me, but I wore the jumper with pride.  I still have it as one of my treasures stored with my baby blanket in my attic.  

There were a few other projects in there...a red jumper type skirt (we looked and looked for the right kind of  buckles, we never found the right buckles), a wool plaid skort (wow, I'm not jumping to match plaid anytime soon), a few other dresses, and two prom dresses (my aunt Sara and I worked and worked at getting the tucks and folds just right on that off the shoulder dress).  

There was much time spent ripping seams and fixing details on all of those projects.  I learned quite a few lessons.  As much as I may have wanted to, I never gave up.  Wow, the plaid skort really pushed the limit!  Always look for the little details, have some pride in yourself, and nothing worthwhile ever comes easily.  Sure I could have gone to the store and just purchased something ready made.  I wouldn't have the great memories or the special time working with my mother, grandmother or aunt.

What made me think of this today?  Waiting for my body to heal itself. The upper part of my right arm is still numb and gaining sensation slowly.  I keep forgetting to ask when this might go away.  I suppose in our microwave popcorn world it is hard to remember that you can't rush healing.  So...I hope to be able to return to my activities of choice soon.  I just need to remember the lessons I learned as a child.  

Checking in at the doctor

I had another check with Dr. Dierking today. The drain will stay in a bit longer...O.K....

He said that he was pleasantly surprised by my pathology report.  He said that for as deep as my tumor was located they couldn't have removed any more tissue without hitting muscle.  I was EXTREMELY LUCKY!

He said that I can do more light things around the house as I see fit.  I asked how long he projected it would be before I could lift "Baby" Ted.  He said that it seemed fine for me to start lifting him. 

Me:   Ted is 26 lbs!  

Doctor:  How old is your baby?!

Me:  16 Mo.  He is going to be a big boy.

Ryan:  I think that we need to stop calling him "Baby" Ted.

All of us laughing:  Yep!

Yes, I think I will hold off on lifting "Baby" Ted.  I did pull his pants back on him last night.  I am not pleased that he thinks it is funny to pee all over my family room.  He looks like one of those cute little cupid boys at Valentine's Day, but his preference to go diaper-less will ruin our carpet.

So in the near future I will have an appointment with an Oncologist and the Radiology department in Sioux City.  It looks like I am getting closer to returning to "normal"!  Until my daily trips to Sioux City start, I suppose.

Stuck like glue?

If you have been following my blog you know that I've had quite the struggle with my tape.  The first brand of tape was so sticky we could barely peel it off my skin, and it left a sticky residue all over my skin.  My skin is so sensitive that the thought of trying to peel the tape off with the aid of rubbing alcohol literally made me want to jump out of my own skin.  We had finally resorted to gently heating the tape with the hair dryer set on low.

 Then Will used all of my tape and Ryan purchased more tape.  My new tape is Johnson's brand paper tape.  This new tape barely sticks to my skin.  The old tape was Curad brand paper tape.  I would say that both brands are well respected for their medical/first aid supplies.  The Curad tape was so sticky Ryan said we might as well have been sticking my bandages on with duct tape!  I agree!

Why is there disparity between the sticking power of the same type of tape?  When I go to the grocery store and purchase sandwich bags I know exactly what I am getting.  I can choose if I want a top fold, a zip-lock, or a slide and seal bag.  I know exactly how my sandwich will be contained before I leave the store. It doesn't seem unreasonable for there to be uniformity between brands of the same type of first aid tape.  This a product that will be applied to sensitive skin.  I'm not asking for much, all I want is for my bandage to stay on my skin and then peel off at the appropriate time.

Tape bandit strikes again!

Will has always loved tape and crafts.  In preschool Will would come home with large elaborate "craft" projects covered in tape.  I can't ever find tape in the house when I need to wrap a birthday present.  Well, Will found my paper tape.  Ryan broke the news to me yesterday evening.  The tape bandit had struck again!  There was paper tape all over our bedroom floor and the core was in the trash.  Tsk, tsk, Will, I can't believe you weren't able to incorporate the tape core in your craft project.

Ryan went to the store and bought more paper tape.  (The old paper tape had become more difficult by the day to remove due to the adhesive residue that was building up on my skin.  Ryan had even started cutting the gauze to different sizes so the tape wouldn't always be sticking in the same pattern.)  The new paper tape appears to be much less "sticky".  I'll soon find out about the adhesive properties of this new tape.

Ted has started laughing in what could be described as a villain laugh.  It is a deep throaty laugh.  He has figured out that I can't pick him up.  Now when Ryan leaves the room, Ted rips off his pants, pulls off his diaper, and then smashes his face up against his pack-n-play mesh and laughs at me in his villain laugh.  Oh Ted, you little monkey!

 (As we speak Ted is trying to remove his onesie and has pulled his knees up inside the body of the onesie.)

Farm Fresh Tomatoes

Will went to visit his Grandma and Grandpa Harder this weekend.  Ryan met his mother to make the big exchange this morning.  When Ryan returned he had a handful of farm fresh tomatoes, homemade bread, lettuce, bacon, and a few other goodies that we will be able to eat at another time.  Oh... my... goodness!  Farm fresh tomatoes!  I wait all year to eat delicious FARM FRESH TOMATOES!

I know everyone in Iowa is rooting for their favorite team, Go Clones!  No matter who wins today, I know that I am a big winner.  Why?  Because I got to eat the best BLT I have had in at least a year!  Yum.  Thanks Jeff and Sheryl!

A walk around the block

Last night Will took me on a walk around the block.  Will was extremely chivalrous.  He picked up every stick off the sidewalk and alerted me to every crack.  He even warned me of leaves and advised me to jump over them... Hmmm, I don't think I will jump over the leaves.  By the time we had gotten to the end of our first street Will had collected so many sticks I had to tell him that he couldn't take them all home. ( He left them by the stop sign.)  It was so nice to make it to the end of the first street and see the lake!  I wish that I would have had a chair.  I would have sat there for a few minutes just taking in the view.

I am feeling better, but I know I am not totally myself.  How do I know?  Well, in Storm Lake we must recycle and I make sure that everything that needs recycling gets recycled here at the Harder house.  Yesterday I drank a Gatorade and threw the bottle away in the TRASH!  Ryan pulled it out and gently asked me if it needed recycling.  Oops, yes it does.  Nope, I'm really not myself, so it is good that I'm not driving.  (Not that I would be physically able to drive at this point.  Look out!)

Why don't they sell adhesive remover at the pharmacy?  We've purchased the most gentle type of tape, but it is still leaving a sticky residue all over my skin.  My knowledgeable mother told me that they make an adhesive remover, because she used it at work.  It looks like we could order it, but the shipping is prohibitive and then it would take a while to arrive.  In the meantime, the whole right side of my body feels like one of those fly strip things that people used to hang from the ceiling.  I did read that baby oil will remove the adhesive.  We were able to get some of the sticky off last night, but we will need to try again.  My skin is fairly delicate right now and as sticky as a post-it note!

Counting my Blessings

I know that I still have a long road ahead of me, but today I am counting my many blessings.  Today is my nephew Josh's birthday.  Happy Birthday Josh!  When my mom called Josh this morning to wish him a happy birthday, his first response was, "Have you heard from Kara?  Is Kara O.K.?"
 Nothing pulls at my heart more than the obvious love and concern from a 7 year old boy on his birthday.  Josh lives in Virginia, so I can't give him a hug today.  Hopefully, by the next time I see Josh, I will be done with my treatment!

My mother, a retired oncology nurse, gave me a reality check this morning.  I know that this could have been much, much worse, but I will always need to protect my right arm.  I have always been very independent. ( I like to see if I can carry in all the grocery bags in one trip; or if I can carry baby Ted, his HUGE diaper bag, and all of my school stuff all in one trip; or I still carry my lean and lanky Will up to bed.)  Maybe I won't be able to do those things anymore.  I will probably need to ask for help more than I did in the past, but my future is looking very bright!

I have many blessings. I was lucky to be able to stay in Storm Lake for my surgery.  No one wants to drive many, many miles after a major surgery and hospital stay.  Dr. Dierking, his staff, and all the nurses at BVRMC took excellent care of me. Most of all, I am blessed with the support of my family, friends, and members of the Storm Lake and BVU communities.  I am only starting my recovery and treatment, but I know that near, or far, I will make it through with everyone's support!

Happy Birthday Joshua Kieth Miller!  Aunt Kara loves you very much and I will be glad to give you a hug the next time I see you!

Nothing like a little Drama

Well the Labor Day weekend sure delayed my pathology report!  Every time the phone rang today I was holding my breath.  Of course we forgot Will's lunch today, so the school called about his lunch...and I had a few other calls. (Did you know the FBI says that every 15 seconds another house has a break in!?)

 Wednesday is surgery day, so Dr. Dierking didn't call until 3:15 p.m.  He had good news, though.  He said that they were able to remove the tumor with clean margins!  They removed all my lymph nodes, but only the Sentinel node was positive.  He said that for the size tumor that they removed we had great margins and my cancer is a stage 2.  He said that I should sleep easy tonight!

Now we will wait for our next appointment on Tuesday.  They will remove my drain and I hope that improves my pain.  I'm still in quite a bit of pain.  I am also running a low grade temp, so hopefully the zpack that the family doctor prescribed for my sinus infection takes care of my temp!

Labor Day Delay

We had our appointment with Dr. Dierking today.  Due to the Labor Day weekend, the pathology report was delayed.  They thought that they might get it later today, but it looks like we will wait until tomorrow.

Since I don't frequent topless beaches, I'm not too worried about the fact that it looks like Freddy Krueger took a few slashes at me.  Dr. Dierking said my incisions are looking good, but my drain will stay in until it slows down a bit more...

Next we went to our family doctor's office to get an antibiotic and cough medication for my sinus infection.  I must be looking rough, a very discreet lady was watching me very intently.  (She wasn't discreet at all.)

Praying for good news

Tomorrow we will go back to the doctor.  We are praying that they were able to remove the cancer with clean margins.

The upper part of my right arm is numb, so I am very careful to keep my arm elevated.  My allergies have affected my sinuses, so I am also dizzy.  I'm not going to try and walk down the sidewalk unassisted anytime soon!

Ryan has been doing an outstanding job of taking care of me and the boys.  Most of all, we are extremely grateful for the meals that have been prepared for our family!

It must be fall

Some things stay constant...it must be fall, my allergies are out of control. 

Ryan took Will and Ted out to the island down by the BVU campus.  They also caught a soccer game on campus.  They all came home hot, sweaty, dirty, and tired.  My family was extremely grateful for the supper tonight.  

First home BVU football game

Ryan ran the scoreboard at the BVU football game today.  Will and Ted spent the day with the Tommasi family.  Will must have had a wonderful time.  He fell asleep on the sofa before 6:30 tonight.  

Jodi and Jeremy Ward stopped by today.  While Jeremy went to the football game, Jodi and I watched Summer Rental.  It was nice to have company while I rested today.  My grandmother sent a care package today.  Nothing makes you feel as good as a package full of love from your grandmother!  It made me think of my college days when she would send me cookies.

I am so grateful for all the flowers, cards, meals, and people willing to help in other ways.  It is very frustrating to know that I can't lift Ted.  He wants me to pick him up, but I can't :( 

 I will be very happy to be able to return to school and see the students and my coworkers.  It is easy to take the simple things in life for granted.  I am blessed to have a job that I love, a wonderful family, and many friends who care!